John 15:9-17; Colossians 3:12-17
Well, here you are Gamaliel Frederick and Rhea Faye! Today you are at a beginning. You begin today as husband and wife. Everything is ready. Optimism abounds, you are eager build upon your relationship and everyone here is cheering you on. It is a time of excitement, a time of awe and wonder, a time of not a little apprehension. Can we make this work? Who is this person standing next to me?
Today’s lessons are a blue print for success in marriage. You can’t miss if you take it seriously, as you allow God to build your life with you.
- You are Chosen by God.
It begins with a statement of who you are.
“You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you or his own,” Col.3:12
“I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit,” John 15:16
Yes, indeed, you are God’s chosen people. It doesn’t get any better than that. You are singled out today for the joy and celebration that is lavished upon you. You are beginning your married life together in the best possible way by coming before God to receive God’s blessing on you today and the rest of your life together. When he has chosen as his own, he also made plans for our journey in life. God says “Surely, I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope,” Jer. 29:11.
This clearly tells us that God is very active in guiding your goals in life. Even your love affair is in God’s plan and our celebration today. But of course it’s realization was dependent upon your response to God’s guiding hands.
The great interest in the gospel reading lies in the fact that we can compile a list of the things for which we are chosen and to which we are called. Let me mention a few.
- We are chosen for love, as Jesus said, “My commandment is this, love
one another just as I love you,” John 15:12.
There is no better basis from which to start your journey together. You are God’s chosen people, holy and beloved. Jesus said: “I love you just as the Father loves me, remain in my love,” John 15:9. This also clearly tells you that you are chosen for each other to love each other. We too who are gathered here today to witness your vows and pray for you manifest that we love you and care for you.
- We are chosen for joy, as Jesus said: “I have told you this so that my joy may
be in you and that your joy may be complete,” John 15:11.
There is always joy in doing the right things. The Christian way may be hard, both in the traveling and the goal, but it is the way of joy. The Christian is a man of joy. A gloomy Christian is contradiction I terms.
- God calls us to be his friend and partner, as Jesus again said: “I do not
call you servants any longer,…instead I call you friends, “ John 15:15
That is a tremendous offer. It means that we no longer do we have to gaze longingly at God from afar. Jesus did the amazing thing, he gave us the intimacy with God, so that god is no longer a distant stranger to your family, but your intimate friend.
Jesus also said, “I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my father,” (v. 15b) He has done this things because he considers us his partner in the work. Yes, partner in the work of the kingdom and more particularly partner in building your family specially teaching and molding the children that God will gift you.
- God chose both of you to be a privileged member of the family of God,
as Jesus promised, “The Father will give you whatever you ask of him in my name,” (v.16b).
He chose you so that whatever you ask in His name the Father will give it to you. God is saying that, as you start your life together, you are not on your own, you are a part of the family of God. The love, the care and the resources of God kingdom is open at your disposal with Christ as your helper.
Now we are here because you have responded positively and followed God’s plan in your life. You have said, yes, to God’s plan, so here you are Bing and Choy, all dressed up in your wedding finery. You are very attractive on this most significant day of your lives. The beauty of your wedding clothes and the deep spiritual conviction which have shaped your character as Christians tells us that you’ve done a lot of work to prepare yourselves spiritually and emotionally for this special occasion of beginning your married life. I believe you’re ready to joyfully undertake the challenges of marriage.
- Put on your Working Clothes.
Your wedding clothes have contributed to the beauty and success of
your wedding day.
Now when you take off your wedding clothes after this day, what are you going to put on? How does one dress for success in marriage? What are you going to wear to ensure that yours will be enduring and satisfying?
Our text in Colossians 3:12-17, has some suggestion for a marriage wardrobe or clothes.
First, put on compassion. Literally, compassion means “a heart of pity.” Compassion is an inner attitude you each have toward the other — a fullness of tender caring for and about the other’s vulnerability and strengths which will overflow into how you treat each other privately and in public.
On top of compassion, put on kindness. Now there’s an article of clothing that gets to be in short supply in a marriage sometimes! When you are clothed with kindness you will be seeking the other’s good as you deal with each others’ weaknesses and sore spots. Kindness is a garment with healing in its wings.
Then there’s another item of clothing that does a marriage good: humility. If ever there is an arena where pride and the need to be right and the struggle for power occur, it’s in a marriage. Lack of humility leads to every kind of struggle. Humility recognizes the other’s equal status, recognizes that each has needs and plans which are equally valid.
Gentleness is another worthy garment for a marriage. Gentleness is the garment of the God-controlled person. When you put on gentleness, the other can take off self-defensive armor, wariness, fearfulness, and can put on trust. Every marriage could use several garments of gentleness.
Now, here’s an absolutely necessary article of clothing for a marriage: patience. Each of you will discover, if you haven’t already, that the other has the capacity to drive you crazy! It doesn’t matter what the issue is: marriage takes patience. And these are just the surface things. Patience requires humor, a spirit of live and let live. But mostly patience takes love.
Another essential garment for a marriage is a spirit of forbearance and forgiveness. There’s a lot that needs to be endured in a marriage, a lot that requires forbearance. It is a spirit of forgiveness that makes difficult things endurable, maybe even erases them. Nowhere more than in marriage, love is repeatedly having to say “I’m sorry.” Don’t say it to get out of a tight spot. Say it because you know that in no other relationship is the other so vulnerable, so easily hurt. And when the other has asked forgiveness, grant it. Speak not only your pain, but speak the word of peace as well.
If compassion is marriage’s inner, garment, and if kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forbearance and forgiveness are its active-wear shirts and pants and skirts and socks, then love is the overcoat. “On top of all these things,” Paul says, “put on love.” Love keeps a marriage warm.
Love is not merely an emotion. Love as an emotion can wear thin and threadbare when feelings ebb. Love, as the overcoat that keeps a marriage warm, is made up of two things, both of which must be there for marriage to endure: commitment and caring. It’s the solid ground on which your marriage rests. “I will be there for you.” That’s the commitment you make with your vows. But what good is commitment without caring? Caring says, “I commit myself to you. I will be there for you.”
When you marry, you signal, in a real way, the end to your life as you knew it. Now marriage does not mean that you lose your individualism or your freedom or your responsibility to control your life. The other will now always be a factor that conditions your decision making. When you marry, you commit yourself to the other, you promise to caringly bring your whole self to your relationship.
These clothes Paul invites us to put on are not made of natural fibers. They are woven of spiritual stuff. Try as you might in your own power to create them, you need God to create them. For instance, human nature says, “I’ll do my fair share but no more.” Or, “She deserved it.” Or “It’s his turn to give in.” Compassion, humility, kindness, gentleness,
forgiveness, love — these don’t come naturally. They are gifts God gives us when we pray for them.
- Above All Be open to God’s Guidance in your Life’s Journey.
St. Paul concludes his admonition saying, “Let the peace of Christ rule in
your hearts.” This is to mean that you should allow Christ to enlighten and inform your lives. The peace of Christ mentioned here is the peace that “passes all understanding”. The peace where you live in harmony with God and all people — especially your spouse. Indeed Paul’s words “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” always means that you should make God a priority in your lives. You begin well today — before God. Don’t leave it here. Take time to be found among God’s people who are also working at their own blue prints.
Finally, be thankful.
- To God, for choosing you, declaring you holy and blessed, and
bringing you together to love each other and journey together.
- To your family and friends who are gathered here today.
- To each other for what you have been for each other and for all you
will be.
Today you set out on the beautiful and sometimes turbulent sea of
married life.
Remember you are not alone in your journey, God promised to be with you always.
Ensure that you are clothes with the right working clothes of a Christian couple working together to build your family and desiring to be fruitful in all your undertaking. Do not forget them, put them on and use them often, if not always, for they will surely help you to build your life to the fullest.
God bless you as you grow in grace as husband and wife.